It is our last night. Tomorrow we board yet another plane and a mere 23 hours later we will land back where this whole adventure started. When we left, we had a clear direction. It felt like we were leaping off a cliff, but we had a confirmed promise that when it was over, we would be caught. I often wondered over these last months what the “catching” would look like and when we might get a glimpse of what was waiting. As the weeks went by and we still had no further direction for our future (other than the continued assurance that God had it under control), I kind of kept reminding God of His promise. It didn’t seem to hurry Him along. Well now we are one day out, and it looks like it will be a blind landing.
I have many thoughts right now…some good, some panicky. I feel crazy, irresponsible, wondering if somehow we missed God in all this because surely this can’t be how it was supposed to go. We are supposed to have a plan that is set and falling into place. We are supposed to have figured it all out and know what’s next. We are supposed to be seeing open doors – not doors slamming shut everywhere we turn. What’s going on? Then I spend time with Him, read His word, remember His character, and my heart settles. This is actually what it’s all about, where we get to discover what it really means to trust Him, to surrender our lives, to follow Him one step at a time – no turning back. I think of all the ways He has gone before us and carried us and prepared us for all that is to come. I remember His words whispered into my heart last January… “I want you to be overwhelmed with only one thing this year. Choose to be overwhelmed with My goodness.” And right now I am clinging to that. Because He is good. Because He does care for me. Because He has never made a promise to me that He didn’t keep. Because His Word proclaims that if I will seek Him first, all things will be added to me as well.
So we are returning to Montana to live, to settle, to wait. There is still a yes in our hearts. Yes to God and all that He may call us to. Yes to going but also yes to staying. Either way, our hearts are set on obedience to Him. I think that’s the biggest lesson I have learned from our recent journey…that it doesn’t really matter where we live or what we are doing. If we are living with our eyes focused on Jesus, He will speak, He will guide, and He will use us to spread His love. To know Him and make Him known…that really is the point. That is what we say yes to.
So if you’re wondering what we are doing next, the short answer is…so are we! Hopefully in the near future, I’ll be able to tell you what our “catching” ends up looking like. In the meantime, I’m busy being overwhelmed…with Him.